Peer Review Videos

March 25th, 2010 | by Greg Barker

Dan Paul – Right Track

I am Dan Paul. I am an artist. I draw pictures, write stories, and sing songs. I just moved from Dallas, TX to New York City with my best friend Teresa Nasty. I like to collaborate with other artists to create new bits of beauty in this world. I believe that all artmaking is a collaboration. We’re here in our right-now selves, picking up messages from the eternal. I believe that anything can happen and that we control our own destinies (even though it can feel like it’s going strongly against our wishes). When I sing, I feel like I’m disappearing, connecting with multiple realities simultaneously. It can feel like an out-of-body experience, like I’m looking down at the crown of my head, sounds resounding in my skull, emotions slowed down to movements, the orchestra swelling in the background as tears well up in my eyes. I love it. It makes life feel so worth it.

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Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)
  • Hi Dan,

    Cool concept. You have an odd way about yourself that is endearing to watch. It sounded as though your audience liked the piece!!! "Goodbye Gemini" moved me quite a bit more than "Right Track," when I was rifling through your collection.

    I watched a few of your videos because you are interesting and have talent but I kept hoping for a really solid hook, which never came. A lot of your songs have meat but no definitive potatoes. You never really lift off, my friend. And, I can tell by your thought provoked lyrics that you want to.

    Dan, you have some really great words and you have the right idea about creating a memorable, lyrical, hook but they lack luster from a melodic perspective, leaving the songs feeling somewhat incomplete or deadpan.

    You are definitely engaging, flirt with the camera, and readily take us through your unusual thoughtscapes. It seems sincere. And fans love honesty.

    Listen back to this piece and notice how, on the choruses, your voice becomes nasal driven and your pitch jumps about. I can tell what you're trying to accomplish...hmmm, maybe experiment with some rhythm & blues or gospel music to bring out your inner soul :) Working scales both vocally and on piano will help you to discover more places to put your voice into a melody. Work those hooks out and you're golden! Keep shedding and never quit!

    Namaste,

    Brian

    Or, visit the south side of town on a Sunday morning. We've got to shake some of that white out of you brother! You're close...free your mind and your heart will follow.

    Namaste,
  • emmilija
    wow, this is really beautiful!!!!
    you're really tallented, I enjoyed this a lot.

  • ronb15
    This is wonderful. so very beautiful! I really enjoyed
  • Unique vocals and comforting performance.
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