Normally I try to get most folks out of their room, but you somehow have that storyteller kind of voice that makes me not even care that you're in your cave doin' your thing. A couple of times it seems like ya' forget where ya' are in the song though, and the Oh-Oh-Ohs come across a little rough at times. I feel you're at your best when ya' just croon, breathy, husky…smokey voiced.

That same inviting approach that ya' start with doesn't quite carry through all the way to the end. Perhaps a more definitive key change and rewrite on the choruses will give you some added air and dynamics, in order to rock the song back and forth through those poetic verses.

Go ahead and let go like ya' wanna'…but maybe dumb down the choruses, to create wind power and space for your vocal to become more powerful but still flow with the song. IOW, sum up what you're saying in 2 to 5 words and repeat it the experiment singing it with different inflections to find the perfect fit for your range and style.

My brother beats me over the head about this all the time and I've grown to accept the simple beauty in the innate ability to crush sentences into their most common denominator. I really wanted to go for this tune.

If you're up for it, have another go of it and re-post. I think something that would be really kewl on the peer reviews that we don't see is if any progression is made through these critiques of our music. Tom, if you've got a fan base, turn them onto this stuff…get people behind you. It looks as thought you're plenty dedicated with all the guitars hanging on the wall. Got a bit of the ole' Bobby D in ya! :)

Namaste,

Brian